Telephone Tightrope
We all knew the day was fast approaching. We had in fact been warned it was imminent. Our trusty 44 extension phone system with ten outside lines and two inside lines was nearing the end of the road. Parts for the twelve year old system were getting hard to come by, and it was impossible to add voice mail. Still, the system was SO easy to use. Couldn’t we just hang in there for a few more years with “old faithful”? At least until I hit retirement age?? A resounding “no” from the telephone czar at Oakey’s let me know our firm was in for a big change in the telecommunications arena.
The last days with the old phones were full of nostalgia, recalling conversations and calls received on the now-dinosaur labyrinth of wires and cords, lights, and buttons. We probably could have held a funeral for the old phones and gotten at least 15 or 20 employees to bid farewell! Was it that we loved the old system so much, or was it fear of the new one making us yearn for days gone by?
Finally it came: November 2, 2011. Truly a red letter date in the annals of valley funeral home history. The “phone guys” arrived in their white vans, the same vans that could possibly be padded to cart away crazed staff members like myself after we faced off with the infernal contraptions. As we said a fond farewell to the old sets which were unceremoniously dumped into cardboard boxes, the gleaming new telephones were dispersed to the various extensions around the Oakey’s buildings. I immediately viewed them as sinister, with their displays of round buttons spaced out to resemble eyes and a nose. But instead of a smiling face, there below the nose were three square buttons going straight across. While not forming a frown, there was definitely no resemblance of a smile on this Avaya 9504. The name even sounded mean.
”It won’t be that bad”, was the mantra of wary staff members. But I knew it would be when “co-phone answerer” Dale emerged from a meeting and announced there was a definite “learning curve” for these new additions to our offices. Uh oh! That was bound to be some kind of code for “danger” or “warning”. After finally being all hooked up, the new system was turned on with the flick of a switch, not unlike what powers an electric chair.
I would love to report the transition was smooth and that I now love the superior powers of the new phones. Alas, calls were dropped, wrong numbers were dialed, and employees ran from ringing phones as if the gadgets had explosives rigged to them. Phone answerers Dale, Tracy, and Carol quickly mastered the contraptions. Once the rest of us realized who knew how to operate them, screams of “Carol!”, “Dale!”, and “TRACYYYY!” echoed thru the halls of 318 Church Avenue. There were probably other words ringing out as well, which would be inappropriate for a corporate blog.
It’s been four weeks now and I still get nervous when I have to put someone on hold or (God forbid) transfer an incoming call. And I’m sure Alexander Graham Bell never envisioned such epic mayhem.
