Laughs in the Limo

If you had been driving along 220 South this morning, you might have seen an Oakey’s Funeral Service limousine zipping up the road with six children, fifteen balloons, and a box of Dunkin’ Munchkins inside. Anyone who believed they had witnessed this sight probably thought they were mistaken. They weren’t! Over the past ten years, I have driven our limousines at least fifty times in an effort to be a good community neighbour and help out our local elementary schools. It’s no secret that all area schools are feeling the pinch of tight governmental budgets, and each school does all they can to raise money in an attempt to offset funding losses that they have encountered. Most elementary schools have carnivals as a way of raising both awareness and dollars, as well as providing a fun time for children and their families. It used to be that schools would ask us to make a monetary donation to their “Fun Day” or carnival. And because it’s a great cause (and also because I have a heck of a time saying “no”!), our corporation would send the school a check for $25 or $50 to help them out. While I’m sure that these donations were of help, it got me to wondering if there was more that we could do to assist during these events.

I attended one of the carnivals and noticed that they had a “silent auction”, where folks would write in a bid for a particular product or service, and the person with the winning bid would be awarded the item. Well, needless to say no school wants a donation of a casket, burial vault, cremation urn, or any other piece of merchandise that might be found on our premises. But we do have two gorgeous limousines that are only used for families that select them as an option. “Why”, I thought to myself, “couldn’t we donate a driver and limo that would pick up the winning bidder’s child and five of their best buddies and take them to school?”. And while we were at it, we could take’em all to their homes in the afternoons. Plus, we would provide doughnut holes in the morning and Slurpees in the afternoon!

This idea went over like calamine lotion in a poison ivy ward! We found that the first year that we offered it at a school would see a bid of about $60 or so, but after other children saw how much fun it was, the second year would see a bid that would double the first. At one school this year, the bid was a staggering $350! Much better than the $50 we would have sent over in the form of a check, and lots more fun, too. Of course this idea has not been without its challenges as well. Since I drive on almost every school trip, I like to have fun in the car by playing the radio loud, turning on the windshield wipers, popping balloons, etc. One of my “fun” things is to swerve the big car back and forth a couple of times (safely, I promise!) like the kids are on an amusement park ride. Well, I was driving children to Crystal Spring Elementary School a year or two ago and when I got back to the funeral home I received a call from a concerned South Roanoke citizen. She wanted me to know that someone was driving an Oakey limo up Stephenson Avenue jerking the steering wheel back and forth. Somewhat shyly, I confessed to her that it was me and that I was being VERY CAREFUL as I did it! Good thing she didn’t see the Chinese Fire Drill we did next to the firehouse that afternoon!