the decorum forum
While I would hardly consider myself a censor, I do attempt to make sure anything coming into our funeral homes is as unoffensive as possible. Families we serve have enough problems without having to venture into an Oakey’s and be confronted with a visual image that upsets them even more. Our firm has a pretty strict dress code, so I don’t have to worry too much about Snoopy neckties, ladies’ cleavage, or Nike sneakers. What I do periodically check on is the magazines we set out in our foyer for folks to peruse. This topic came to my mind today, as the new National Geographic crossed my desk in the incoming mail. Most people would not think the Geographic would be a sensitive piece of reading material, but when I saw that the current issue has a human skull on the cover, I immediately put on my screening hat and decided it would stay in the employee lounge. While most families might not bat an eye at human bones on a magazine cover, there’s always the chance such a photo could really set off a loved one who just lost a spouse or parent. While I haven’t had to direct a periodical to the employee lounge since the last Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, that’s where you can find our new NatGeo!
If you are thinking no one reads the magazines in a funeral home, you are quite wrong. Somehow, a copy of one of our trade magazines called “Mortuary Management” ended up in the music room where the ministers are ensconced prior to a service. I had no idea the clergyman had seen the funeral publication until after the funeral, when he told me that he did not really need to know how to embalm an autopsied body just before he had prayer with a family!
And while the eyes can be offended, so can the ears. A family at our South Chapel had lost a son and brought in a CD he had burned and played on a regular basis. I made the mistake of not asking what was on the disc, and was shocked when a visitor to that particular parlour complained about having to listen to the heavy metal song “Highway to Hell” whilst attending a wake! I believe I sat a new speed record as I dashed to our P.A. system several rooms away to yank the CD in question.
We even have to be careful about aromas wafting through our facilities. Every so often Oakey’s has “Baked Potato Day” for the staff of our downtown chapel, where we purchase several dozen potatoes to chow down on for our lunches. Along with all of the “fixins” for the ‘taters, we usually have a tossed salad and several deserts. The problem comes when we attempt to bake 40+ potatoes in our lunchroom, which is right below one of our arrangement offices. Within a half hour of turning on the oven, the office begins to smell like a cross between the Golden Coral and K & W Cafeteria! And for some reason, explaining to a newly widowed lady “It’s Baked Potato Day here at the funeral home” does not quite do it!
So call me “Big Brother” if you must, but as long as I’m in charge here offending reading matter, music, and fragrances will not be available to the general public!
